Surrendering Into Greatness and Gratitude

My flight to Canada today started off with a whole lot of complaining on my part. I was excited about going that is until I got to SFO! My blog today isn’t about my list of complaints, however. I would spare you that. It is about what happened to me because of them! A profound awakening occurred within me today that is worth reading about the process, which does include many complaints. That was the journey to my awakening. So, here we go.

 

OK, I was flying to Canada, right? So my husband, Harry Mason, dropped me off at the International Terminal at SFO. First of all, ‘I hate SFO’ was my mantra from the time I started packing for this trip so that alone might set me up for some consequences, you think? Harry lets me off at the curb. No baggage check stands on the outside of the airport. This is why I like flying out of Oakland! Oh well, Harry says ‘there’s carts right behind you’. Ok, get a cart. “Five Bucks! What a racket. I hate SFO!”

 

Get all my bags loaded onto the cart and enter the terminal. This terminal was designed by ‘Mr. Weenie’, the designer of all the modern hotel rooms and airports that look and feel massive, cold and ‘artsy’ but are totally a pain in the watusi as far as being user friendly or functional friendly. ‘All these counters and where the hell is United?’ Not a sign or anything pointing the way. Ok, just ask someone Kathryn.

 

‘Uh, you’re flying through Denver so you’re supposed to be in Terminal 3, Domestic’ says the United clerk. Ok, good thing I have a cart. I’m really going to get my money’s worth now! Two miles later (exaggerating a bit) I’m at the correct counter and check in my bags without event. Yay!

 

Wow, not only am I early but my flight is delayed 45 minutes. I’ve got plenty of time. Nice shops but I don’t need or want anything but water. Ok, I’ll get a soy latte’ even though I only drink coffee a couple times a year and regret it every time. This time is no different. I hate being buzzed like this. I think I’ll find a little place to do some stretching and exercising. Perfect little area. Stretch, do some lunges, triceps dips on a chair, ok this chair should work for my side dips for my waist. One, two, three, POP! What the hell was that. Holy Cow, I just did something to my right hip. I’m in tight blue jeans and belt. Never done this exercise in tight clothes before. Visual of bone popping out of socket in my head. OMG, I have really injured myself! Can I walk. Let’s see. OMG, just barely! What am I going to do now? I worry while I wait for the plane to start loading, barely being able to walk to get in line. I must have really pulled something bad. Hurts to take the stride back on my right hip. Let me try limping, yes that is less painful. OMG, I have to lift my bag now to board and it really makes my hip hurt. I can barely walk down the isle to my seat.

 

Get to my row and I have a window seat. I prefer isles, especially on such a large plane, completely full and barely room to bend over and get into my bag once it’s under the seat. Then things get really scary!

 

The plane is packed, it’s hot and I’m getting claustrophobic. OMG, this doesn’t usually happen, what is going on? I’ve got that damn coffee buzzing in my system and I’m freaked out from my injury……I start to panic and get really freaked out. I am reeked out to the point that I feel like I’m going to have to remove myself from the plane. Wait, you can’t do that Kathryn. You know how to calm yourself down. Yes, I do but for whatever reason it’s not working this time. I unbutton my tight jeans, remove my belt and slip off my shoes so as to experience some freedom of movement somewhere. My mind is racing with fear. What is up? Why am I experiencing this? OMG, this plane is going to crash. This is a premonition. I look around and think I am going to die and all these people are going to die today.

 

Wow, this is intense. I’m crying now. Then I get it. I just have to give up the fight, these are the words I’m getting like a transmission. ‘You just have to surrender. Surrender’ ‘I get it’, I say. I understand I surrender everything now. I surrender it all. Take me, just take me. Transmission ‘You are loved, you are cared for. You don’t have to think about a thing. Just trust.’

 

This feeling of peace and love and surrender just flows through my body. All of a sudden it doesn’t even feel like I have a mind anymore. I feel so loved and taken care of. There is no fear, no worry. Only peace now. Peace and tears. I want my husband to know how much I love him. He knows. All this gratitude and trust takes me.

 

I’m still crying, for about an hour off and on as the plane takes off and I get a transmission. ‘Enjoy the glorious view from your window seat Kathryn’. Yes, everything I see is like I’m seeing it for the first time. I’m in awe that I’m in the air, that we can actually fly in this big machine. I see the San Mateo bridge and am amazed that it was built across the long body of water. Just amazing! The mountains are so green, dimensional, textured, so incredibly profound to see. The bodies of water that are lakes and reservoirs are simply spectacular. And the clouds make me speechless! I’m crying I’m soooooo grateful to be alive today. I’m so grateful I don’t have to fight today. I’m so grateful that I see what I see, feel what I feel and know what I know. I’m just so grateful!

 

And it occurs to me how glorious and incredible it is to have this new sense of knowing what I want………I want to fly in first class from now on. Now that is not a petty, vain thing. That is treating me like the spiritual being that I am. I get this ‘aweness’ of how that is a generous thing to want for myself….a way of caring and nurturing for myself. All this struggle and effort and so little space and discomfort. I’m getting that I’m worthy of so much more than this……and that I can have it. Not like a ‘goal’ but like a knowing that it is there for me. All I have to do is stop the resistance, give up the fight and righteousness. It is meant for each of us, first class being just the symbol of freedom and abundance, because life in every aspect should be experienced from first class!

 

Wow, I just feel profoundly blessed! This was an amazing transformation and awakening for me. It was not only a shift of consciousness but an expansion that I feel emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

 

SFO, I think your design sucks, but I have learned that there is wisdom in everything and everywhere and it comes at the strangest times. Now that I know, I know.

 

OMG, how am I going to get my bags from baggage claim and make it to curbside in Regina? I have no idea, but I know and trust that I’ll be provided for and taken care of. Canada, here I come. I’m only a half an hour away! Wahoo!

 

Kathryn Strong (I got this name for a reason!)

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