Ask a More Empowering Question

Ask a More Empowering Question

Pain occurs when our life conditions don’t match our model of the world.

We each have our rules and values of how we think things should be, including the people in our lives. But when the circumstances that show up don’t match our rules and values it causes us pain. Suffering comes in when we feel helpless to impact any of it.

When this occurs we need to remember that we have choices.

Being a Victim is a Choice:

We can be in the pain and suffering and make our circumstances and the people around us wrong. This is called being a victim. We live like it’s true that we’re helpless and that our outside circumstances are controlling us, but this it totally untrue. We are allowing them to control us.

 

Changing Our Rules and Values is a Choice:

The reason we react versus respond to our circumstances is because we are resisting the mismatch. Hey, the sun is going to rise and set everyday whether we think it should or not. To resist this happening would be futile, yet this is how many people do live. The transformation comes when we begin to understand it’s our way of thinking that doesn’t serve us because it no longer empowers us to take action and make choices that are in ours or others’ best interest. It doesn’t give us the experience or the outcomes that are fulfilling.

 

When we can begin to become willing to create other perspectives by asking new questions we will begin to shift our experiences and outcomes. We will be able to shift, sometimes in small degrees to larger degrees, from less powerless to more powerful experiences and outcomes.

Tony Robbins says ‘The quality of ones’ life is directly proportionate to the quality of the questions one asks.’ Here’s an example of shifting from powerless to powerful.

Instead of asking ‘Why is this happening to me?’ ask ‘How can I benefit from this happening to me?’ or ‘There’s a lesson in all of this, what is it?’ or ‘What is a more empowering interpretation I can make from this occurrence?’

 

Let’s say someone you love is upset and yelling at you. Notice you immediately get defensive, this is a normal reaction. What if you asked instead, ‘How else could I respond to this other than being defensive?’ or ‘How could I find compassion for myself and this other person right now?’

If you’re not having the experiences and outcomes in your life, relationships and business that you want I invite you to look at the questions you are asking and how by asking a different question might get you a completely different experience and outcome.

Sound good? Ok, then, what’s your first question?

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